Punk Rock Euchre Night at Soggy Bottom

I’m your host, Dallas McCulloch. I’m a 5th generation Michigander, and I’ve been playing Euchre my entire life. Every family event since before I was born involved euchre. Starting around 12 I would play tournaments at the Post Sportsman Club in my hometown of Battle Creek, where the 2nd youngest person there was my dad. These days, it’s mostly reserved for up north trips or after funerals, and that’s sad. In an age of digital everything, we need to get a crew of people together to drink beer, listen to sick jams, interact with real humans, and play the greatest game ever bestowed upon our lovely peninsula.

You don’t have to be a “punk” to play punk rock euchre, and normies are more than welcome. I just wanted to signal that people may say the word fuck, there will be awesome music playing, and this will take place at a pretty cool bar and not a church rec room or something. No racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, etc. Just be cool, man.

So here’s the low down.

1) 7pm tournament start time. Not 7:01, but 7:00. Be registered and ready to play on time. You should probably show up a bit earlier, get a drink, make some friends.

2) You do not need to be an expert, but this is not absolute beginners euchre. If you want to learn or need a refresher, show up early and play some hands before 7:00pm. We can have a learners table independent from the tournament so people can learn if there’s demand.

3) Prizes will be based on the number of people turning up. We can potentially have multiple lesser prizes for 2nd, 3rd, etc. I will personally buy a beer for whoever gets last place.

4) No table talk, or we’ll throw your ass out.

5) Always screw the dealer. No farm’s hand. No bottoms, etc. Normal ass euchre.

6) Every table will play around twice, so 8 hands total. After these 8 hands, you will report your score. After 8 hands, the team with the higher score will move on to the next table and the lower score team will stay put. Both teams will then become opponents with their previous partner on the next game.

7) around 10pm is when we’ll wrap it up. At 9:40pm an alarm will go off, at which point no more new games will be started. You are actively encouraged to hang out and have more food and drinks after the tournament. I am always willing to play recreational games of euchre afterward too if anybody want to.

 If you get euchred, you and your partner put $1 in a pot. This pot goes towards a bonus tip for our bar staff at the end of the tournament.

9) Tip your bartenders. Respect the space. Respect each other. Soggy Bottom has been cool enough to let us use the space for this, so let’s show them it’s worth having.

10) If you get euchred on a loner, everybody at the table has to yell “Euchred on a loner!” and we will all point and laugh at you!

11) MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL will be on in the back room where the tournament is taking place. Broncos vs. Chiefs starts at 8:15pm, and will continue playing after euchre is done. It’s not one of the other, it’s all of the above.

Any further questions, contact Dallas! Still fine tuning everything, but I think we have decent framework. We’ll get more functional as time goes on, as long as people are into the idea.